While we were in the city, Drew and I saw this beautiful, 100% white leather designer jacket in the market; one that I had been looking for for the past few months.
Drew pointed it out, said I should try it on, and without missing a beat I said, “Nah, I probably can’t afford it.” (It was $120)
I could just get a fake pleather one online for $20 and be fine.
This was how I lived most of my life.
I wouldn’t buy things in department stores, and wait until it went on sale a season later.
I would hold off going to really nice stores only to duck out since CLEARLY I couldn’t get any of these things.
It was never that I didn’t have the money. (totally did)
It was the fact that I didn’t think I deserved it.
I didn’t think that I had earned that $120 jacket yet, since I was still in the growing stages of my business
I didn’t think I deserved such a nice present, when I myself wasn’t seeing the sales I wanted in my coaching.
DO ANY OF YOU FEEL LIKE THIS?
Here’s the problem with this mindset (point down emoji)
It keeps you freaking small.
It keeps you thinking ‘some day’ is a day on the calendar
It keeps you from any and everything that is available to you NOW for a later date that never comes
DESPITE ALL THE FREAKING SUCCESS I HAVE HAD
I was holding myself back, thinking I was still that person who would buy something, and embarrassingly have to bring it back because she didn’t have enough money in her bank account for groceries
Who had to choose between rent or a nice dinner with friends
Who had to go to the Bioplasma in order to have enough money to survive
Who squandered all the money her parents saved for her, and was living paycheck to paycheck
Y’all, I taught myself how to look at anything that was nice as an enemy to my survival.
Even now, 5 years later, I still find myself resisting anything that isn’t absolutely necessary
Because, I hadn’t earned it yet.
Even though I have waaay more money in the bank than I ever have had before
Even though I have clients who currently take care of all my bills and then some while I live overseas
EVEN THOUGH I have proven time and time again that I will NEVER go back to the times when I was stone cold broke.
Nah fam, the thing about wealth is that it comes to you when YOU decide you are worthy of it.
When YOU decide you can afford it.
When YOU decide that you have earned it.
And that my friends, is why for several months, I wasn’t able to grow my business
I wasn’t able to even THINK about making $10k months or even looking in nice stores for the quality white leather jackets because I didn’t think I earned it. I didn’t think it was necessary for survival.
And it wasn’t until I freaking DECIDED that I DESERVED all this shit that it would come to me.
What is easy to accept that?
Ohhhhh NO
I legit would start internally sweating and mentally SCREAMING that this was a stupid idea and will give me a one way ticket to the streets because I couldn’t afford anything else.
Did I do it anyway?
HELL YEA I DID.
And instead of an eviction notice, it lead to me gaining new clients in my business
A $5k launch after 3 weeks of promotion
And over $10k in my business
So yea, I went back to that shop and bought the white leather jacket in cash from the designer himself.
And I walked out with the biggest freaking smile on my face.
I had earned this.
I CAN afford this.
And anything else I so choose to own can, and will, be mine.
And open myself to the blessings and opportunities that are made available to me when I DECIDE that I am worthy of them
Which INCLUDES the designer white leather jacket <3
What are YOU holding yourself back from? What are you thinking you don’t deserve?
Your first online business being a success right out the gate?
A $50k, $100k, $200k salary paid to yourself in less than a year?
A $15 launch in 15 days?–>Check my girl @ChristieBailey’s challenge if you think this ain’t a thing. Because it so is.
Well, if you continue to decide those things are not available to you, thennn it never will happen
No new strategies.
No new freebies
No new followers
No new anything will make you any more (or less) worthy of this.
YOU get to, and HAVE to, decide when you are ready to accept that all these things are available to you RIGHT. FUCKING. NOW.